This Place Is A Zoo
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." I speak not of the gates of hell, but those of the Portland Zoo. To understand how we ended up in such a great place at such a bad time, a quick peek at the backstory that led us here is necessary. Several months ago, we put together an itinerary for our 7 year old grandson's visit. The zoo was not part of that plan, but a limited attention span and the arrival and departure times of flights to and from the East Coast caused it to become a factor in the time he would spend with us. The premium to fly directly into Eugene is steep this summer, so we decided to use Portland Airport as home base and pocket the savings for other trip related expenses. Flying into Portland is no problem, but departure is always a trick. On a good day, it takes 1-1/2 hours to get to the airport. The gods of travel have deemed it necessary to add additional time to that estimate because a sneeze can cause significant highway delays. Arrival delays can be easily handled, but departure is another thing. We have to be up at 4 AM. to reach the airport in time for an early morning departure. In order to avoid that hideous hour, I suggested we spend the day prior to departure in Portland and spend the night in an airport hotel. What better place to spend the day than at the zoo and the children's museum. Right? As it turns out, that would have been a great decision most days, but on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, entrance fees, which are normally high, are just $4 per person and the immediate world descends on Portland Zoo. I, who in another life, was paid for research and logistic skills most others lack, dropped the ball and got us to the zoo just in time to rub elbows with the immediate world. I swear, right hand on a bible you cannot see, of the 11,000 bodies assembled that day, there was one adult and 10,999 children, some of whom were advanced in years but had not yet learned to surrender to the limitations of a very hot day. It was a zoo, my friends. Fortunately, the enthusiasm of that wonderful 7 year old saved the day. He's my favorite for always and ever. We just aren't going to tell the others, and we'll stay away from the zoo for a while.
